Welcome to my dating website! My name is Chastity Matchmaker, I am here to help you find the one. Chastity Matchmaker uses an algorithm that matches you according to virtue rather than interests. Some dating sites use algorithms that prioritize keeping subscribers by providing nice dates, not the best matches.
Chastity Matchmaker is a virtue-based dating site that promotes a commitment to chastity. The site is free to members who sign up and complete profile requirements. There is no subscription fee to members. Subscriptions are offered to people who desire chaste dating. Members can support one another in friendship dating and chaste fellowship. Group interaction makes chastity more attainable, and rejection less painful.
Members can view profiles of dating/marriage coaches and sign up for personal appointments on the site. The app moves members from courtship and dating, to marriage-making and then to family-making, in one easy to navigate space.
Virtues are universal and translate to all cultures. Virtues such as purity, honesty, unselfishness and love are derived from chastity, and create lasting marriages, strong families and healthy contributing children.
Individuals begin to know themselves by other-oriented love. We are first loved, then we love others. Loving reveals to us who we are. The sign and proof of love is revealed in the sacrifices we make for others. It’s necessary to sacrifice or suffer for love’s sake. Sacrifice is the tangible evidence of love. It orients love away from self-gratification and towards unselfishness, which is the hallmark of true love. When I sacrifice what I want for what is best, I discover who I am and what I’m made of. This takes courage and fortitude. Sacrifice reveals my state of unselfishness, virtue and freedom. Real freedom is the ability to choose what is best even when it’s hard or seems impossible, no matter the pressure to give in.
Self-sacrifice is often devalued, while self-satisfaction and self-pleasure are encouraged and pursued. This inverts and contradicts virtue, strength and freedom. Selfish pursuits lead to suffering for nothing, i.e. fleeting pleasures which not only don’t satisfy, but leave the person empty, unfulfilled and hungry. Love in this inverted paradigm is no longer defined by what I give, it is redefined and judged by what I receive. Each selfish pursuit is discarded for the next new one. The individual is never satisfied by self-love. The soul can only be satisfied by revealing the inner strength found in self-giving. Selfishness destroys families and relationships.
Chastity, and all virtues, are accomplished by self-control and self-mastery. Friendship dating builds virtues like honesty, humility, courage, integrity, commitment and charity. These virtues result in a foundation for lasting, true love.
Most importantly in order to find a good spouse, you must first be a good spouse. This means practicing and perfecting virtue. Love without self-control and self-sacrifice is impossible. Lasting love is made difficult by engaging in or forming habits of selfishness, instead of building virtue. The habit of self-seeking and self-gratification erodes virtue, and fulfillment becomes illusive.
Women risk rejection by protecting purity, but with self-mastery they learn their value and experience their own strength. The boundary provides safety and leads to modesty. Rejection is taken with a sense of balance and dignity. This leads to confidence, happiness and clarity of purpose.
When men restrain themselves and protect a women's purity, they convey a love that is other-oriented and refined in fire and self-sacrifice. This creates a sense of security in women, and a deep respect for men. Men experience their own strength and confident power in self-restraint and self-control. This is the true freedom they crave. No one controls them, because they have self-control.
The sexual drive is one of the most powerful forces in human life. It is only superseded by the power of love. The power of love is revealed in the willingness to face death with courage. Both men and women are capable of this kind of bravery. For women it is faced most frequently in childbirth. For men it is faced in protecting women and children. The power of sexuality is ordered to the power of love. Chastity is the evidence of this right order.
Temptation reveals strength. When men protect their own chastity and the chastity of women, they give a gift of immeasurable value, and they reveal their own strength of purpose. They command respect and they receive respect.
When men and women combine in strength, they come together in a way that is strong enough, and good enough, to shelter and nurture children. When people give in to selfish temptations they weaken themselves and their union. Children are not protected and safe.
Children create opportunities for the parents to sacrifice and increase their strength of character by coming together for the love of the child. Thus virtue is transmitted. The parents find new ways of sacrificing together for one another and for the new family. Love is born and reborn in the sacrifices of the family members for one another.
Selfishness reverses the orderly, natural way of proceeding from friendship, to courtship, to marriage and fruitful love. The point of courtship is to develop virtue that can sustain a marriage. We can't find love in someone else, we find it in ourselves by perfecting ourselves and giving this gift to others. Once I am a gift, I find the one I can give that gift to. This is the ancient and natural purity of persons and families; the organic truth of love.
When the self is corrected and mastered the non-essential desires and pursuits are dissolved. The essential character is revealed in virtue. The essential truths are revealed. Essential answers emerge. What is important? What is my duty? What can I contribute? How can I improve within my situation? These answers result in purpose and happiness which endure through hardship and sustains families. The self uncorrected, unrestrained and uncontrolled results in perpetual dissatisfaction and privation. There is never enough for that soul.
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